The simple answer; I work with clients and their family after a terminal diagnosis/end-of-life and follow a process that includes reflection, planning, and deep communication to achieve a better death. It is my goal to educate on the options available and to ensure that the client and their family has a sense of comfort by demystifying the stages of death. I am a non-medical, supportive role-only, and I provide support during the preparation, active dying, after death care, and bereavement process. It is a profound privilege to help someone fulfill their last wishes and goodbyes, hold their hand when things are uncertain, reassure them it's ok to let go, and sit with them and their family as their consciousness leaves their body.
We prepare for the birth of a child but we typically don't prepare for our death until later in life. While both events are transitional periods, we celebrate one and fear the other. As an End-of-Life Doula, I help clients and their family prepare for their death through conversation, reflection and planning. As children, we are typically shielded from death and so we grow up thinking that death is a taboo conversation topic. But, talking about death is an opportunity to reflect on life and the planning for one's death can be a beautiful way to connect on a deeper level to one's family and to live a fuller life for whatever time they have remaining. The goal is to have a plan set in place for the client's end-of-life care and for a client's wishes to be known by all involved. I work alongside the client's medical team as a non-medical, supportive role only, but will act as an advocate for the client and the client's family. I will guide the client through life's final transition in a personal, peaceful, purposeful and meaningful way.
You don't NEED an End-of-Life Doula; it is more of a personal choice to have someone help you through life's final transition. As an End-of-Life Doula, I work with the client and family in a supportive role to navigate the death experience and to plan, educate, and arrange for a better death. Families are often emotionally unprepared for the death of a loved one; I will support the client and family in planning and executing 'last wishes'. “Doulas can take some of the ‘work’ of the death experience off of the family so they can just be fully present with their loved one,” explained Becca Price, a certified End-of-Life Doula in San Diego. “That often means actually finding ways to encourage and arrange for that since, in our culture, we do not value 'being' as much as we value 'doing'.”
Legacy life review (LLR) is another way to reflect on one's life and to complete important tasks prior to our death. During a LLR with a client, we will begin by reflecting on their life and learn what needs to be done for a sense of feeling complete. This is also an opportunity for a client to leave something behind for their family to cherish, which could look like a music playlist, obituary writing, photo album, letters, and much more.
Something to remember, the most important thing about death is the life that comes before it.
End-of-Life Doulas are non-medical support for you and your family, and we work alongside your medical team. Unfortunately, hospice has limitations due to insurance restrictions, so this is where an End-of-Life Doula can step in. While we do not provide medical care, we can provide support during the preparation, active dying, after death care, and bereavement process. As an End-of-Life Doula, I will work to the best of my ability to complete requests, educate, and answer questions.
If you or a loved one has received a terminal diagnosis, I recommend talking with your doctor about finding a hospice or palliative care team. This care team will be extremely important when physical needs increase. Hospice and Palliative care are amazing and beneficial services that are paid for by most insurances. Unfortunately, End-of-Life Doulas are not paid for by insurance and are an out of pocket expense, but if you have questions about pricing, please feel free to send me an email with any concerns.
