Why do we prepare for the birth of a child but we don't prepare for our death? Both events are transitional periods in our lives but we celebrate one and fear the other. As an end-of-life doula, I help clients and their family prepare for their death through conversation, reflection and planning. As children we are typically shielded from death and so we grow up thinking that death is a taboo conversation topic. But talking about death is an opportunity to reflect on life as well, and the planning for one's death can be a beautiful way to connect on a deeper level to one's family and to live a fuller life for whatever time we have remaining. The goal is to have a plan set in place for the client's end-of-life care and for a client's wishes to be known in order to plan a better death. I work with your medical team as a non-medical, supportive role only, but will act as an advocate for the client alongside the client's family. I will guide you through life's final transition in a personal, peaceful, purposeful and meaningful way.
As an end-of-life doula, I work with the family in a supportive role to navigate the death experience and to plan, educate, and arrange for a better death. Families are often emotionally unprepared for the death of a loved one, I will support the client and family in planning and executing 'last wishes'. “Doulas can take some of the ‘work’ of the death experience off of the family so they can just be fully present with their loved one,” explained Becca Price, a certified end-of-life doula in San Diego. “That often means actually finding ways to encourage and arrange for that since, in our culture, we do not value 'being' as much as we value 'doing'.”
Legacy life review (LLR) is another way to reflect on one's life and to complete important tasks prior to our death. During a LLR with a client, we will begin by reflecting on their life and learn what needs to be done for a sense of feeling complete. This is also an opportunity for a client to leave something behind for their family to cherish, which could look like a music playlist, obituary writing, photo album, letters, and much more.
Something to remember, the most important thing about death is the life that comes before it.
End-of-life doulas are non-medical support for you and your family and we work alongside your medical team. Unfortunately, hospice has limitations due to insurance restrictions, so this is where a death doula can step in. While we do not provide medical care, we can provide support during the preparation, active dying, after death care, and bereavement process. As a death doula, we work to the best of our ability to complete requests and answer questions.
If you or a loved one have received a terminal diagnosis and have a prognosis of 6 months or less, I recommend talking with your doctor about finding a hospice or palliative care team. This care team will be extremely important when physical needs increase. Hospice is an amazing and beneficial service that is paid for by most insurances. Unfortunately, end-of-life doulas are not paid for by insurance and are an out of pocket expense, but if you have questions about pricing, please feel free to send me an email with any concerns.
